A Dirty Little Secret

Here is just one of my dirty little secrets: I may not be that different from you in so many ways.

What may make me a little different is that I am completely willing to be seen in my own vulnerability (which hopefully makes you willing to be seen in yours).  I am willing to be in our  humanness together. I study what makes me tick like crazy, and I won’t be talked out of my own pleasure.

My biggest purpose is to be a bridge for others to find their bodies, understand their sexuality, and embrace their pleasure. It’s that simple. I am a bridge. A creator of possibility, a cheer leader, an educator, and a guide. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less! It’s a big calling!

I think the first step in what I do, and the success that I have with women, is the understanding that I am simply “one who came before”, and it is from there that I can be an advocate. The biggest challenge that most of us face, on this journey towards living a pleasure filled life – is how to create it and maintain it.

It’s not always easy for anybody – even me. I struggle too.

But what I don’t do is argue myself out of pleasure.

And it is what I listen to almost daily! People who are filled with possibility who almost daily argue themselves out of their own pleasures. There are so many reasons: their marriage feels stale, there isn’t enough resources for pleasure whether it is time or money, or their body is not ready for pleasure whether it’s health or the perception of what a body should look like that can be SEEN in pleasure.

My life changed when I put a “Pleasure Plan” in place. I still do it.

The calendar is very important to me.

Where am I feeding myself pleasure? What are the dates? I plan and sometimes budget for pleasure.

Pleasure doesn’t have to be big stuff! It can be planning to see friends, eating an ice cream with complete consciousness, feeling your body while you dance or do yoga. There are all kinds of pleasures. Make a list of what brings you pleasure. All of it, the big stuff and the small stuff and then sit down with your calendar and plot it out. You need vitamin P.

In the end, no one can do this for you. You can hire guides like me to support you. I have lots of different types of guides in my life. They are indispensable to me.  You can go on retreats like “Back to The Body: A Sensuous Retreat for Women” and get a great big booster shot of pleasure. Totally yummy! And sometimes what we need to change our course.

But in the end, you are responsible for planning AND maintaining your own pleasure, and bringing it into your life.

Please don’t argue yourself out of it!

Take a cue from this poem by Neil Gaiman

“Sleep my little baby-oh
Sleep until you waken
When you wake you’ll see the world
If I’m not mistaken…

Kiss a lover
Dance a measure,
Find your name
And buried treasure…

Face your life
Its pain,
Its pleasure,
Leave no path untaken.”…

Finding Your Sexy At The Speed Of Choice

I have been called a “Force of Nature” on more than one occasion. There was and is, a belief in my soul that I can move through anything. It’s a good power to own and use wisely. It’s a tool of creation and having a vision. These are all good things. I have also learned that I don’t have to power through everything, and I don’t always have to move quickly. There is power there too. Let me explain.

sexy choice

Taking your time is an option too. And if you don’t really get that, you are not living in the power of sexy choices. You have the choice to move fast and power through, and you have the choice to slow down or simply not move at all. Sexy is finding your pace in the moment and not moving according to old programs of how you always are. Experiment and check in with yourself. Do you always move slow? Maybe it’s time to try out a different gear.

When you have the power to go fast, cliff jump, slow down, or simply stay where you are, then you truly have free will.

In my own life, what I have found is that my own playing with the speed gears of my life and understanding my own willingness to stay in one place that has been the foundation for me to make good, solid, sexy choices to creating a better life for myself.

Author, Alan Cohen puts it like this: “Sometimes the willingness to find your good where you stand is the prerequisite to moving to “better”. As long as you need to go, you have to stay. When you can stay, you are free to go. It’s a paradox – your point of power. As long as you are attached to one option or the other, you are stuck. When you can hold both alternative simultaneously, you are free.”

Play with your speeds. Do something different. Feel the sexy choices. You might make an incredible discovery of about yourself.…