Here is just one of my dirty little secrets: I may not be that different from you in so many ways.

What may make me a little different is that I am completely willing to be seen in my own vulnerability (which hopefully makes you willing to be seen in yours).  I am willing to be in our  humanness together. I study what makes me tick like crazy, and I won’t be talked out of my own pleasure.

My biggest purpose is to be a bridge for others to find their bodies, understand their sexuality, and embrace their pleasure. It’s that simple. I am a bridge. A creator of possibility, a cheer leader, an educator, and a guide. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less! It’s a big calling!

I think the first step in what I do, and the success that I have with women, is the understanding that I am simply “one who came before”, and it is from there that I can be an advocate. The biggest challenge that most of us face, on this journey towards living a pleasure filled life – is how to create it and maintain it.

It’s not always easy for anybody – even me. I struggle too.

But what I don’t do is argue myself out of pleasure.

And it is what I listen to almost daily! People who are filled with possibility who almost daily argue themselves out of their own pleasures. There are so many reasons: their marriage feels stale, there isn’t enough resources for pleasure whether it is time or money, or their body is not ready for pleasure whether it’s health or the perception of what a body should look like that can be SEEN in pleasure.

My life changed when I put a “Pleasure Plan” in place. I still do it.

The calendar is very important to me.

Where am I feeding myself pleasure? What are the dates? I plan and sometimes budget for pleasure.

Pleasure doesn’t have to be big stuff! It can be planning to see friends, eating an ice cream with complete consciousness, feeling your body while you dance or do yoga. There are all kinds of pleasures. Make a list of what brings you pleasure. All of it, the big stuff and the small stuff and then sit down with your calendar and plot it out. You need vitamin P.

In the end, no one can do this for you. You can hire guides like me to support you. I have lots of different types of guides in my life. They are indispensable to me.  You can go on retreats like “Back to The Body: A Sensuous Retreat for Women” and get a great big booster shot of pleasure. Totally yummy! And sometimes what we need to change our course.

But in the end, you are responsible for planning AND maintaining your own pleasure, and bringing it into your life.

Please don’t argue yourself out of it!

Take a cue from this poem by Neil Gaiman

“Sleep my little baby-oh
Sleep until you waken
When you wake you’ll see the world
If I’m not mistaken…

Kiss a lover
Dance a measure,
Find your name
And buried treasure…

Face your life
Its pain,
Its pleasure,
Leave no path untaken.”

A Dirty Little Secret

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